I was walking down the street on a rainy evening. It had been a disgusting day and I was working the night shift patrolling the streets. So far the evening had been pretty quiet, almost eerily quiet, like just before something's about to happen so I was trying to stay on my guard. The steady rain had lightened up and become more of a drizzle as I was walking down Rouse Boulevard. I headed down the alley between Mo Liquor and Sunshine Day Care and came upon the tiny playground that looked more menacing than inviting in the darkness. After having walked the street blocks for a few hours I decided to sit down on a swing for a few minutes and take a rest.

The playground had been recently remodeled and was no longer rusty and dangerous but shiny and new. Having caught a drug deal or two go down in the past here I decided to scan over the tiny lot for any potential threats. That's when I saw her laying under the slide. Nothing but a dark lump that remained eerily still, barely visible through the night time drizzle. A flood of thoughts filled my mind. Was she sleeping? Has she been hurt? Is she already dead? Trying to remain hopeful I crossed my fingers for an older person just laying down for a moment to try and escape the rain. I crossed the tiny lot and as I got closer I realized who it was. Madame Maureen was lying under the bright red slide, eyes closed, and completely motionless. After checking her pulse (or lack there of) my stomach started doing flips in my stomach. I immediately called for back up and an ambulance. About an hour later it was decided that her death had been natural and no further investigation was needed.

A heart attack. A woman that can't have been much older than me crawled under a slide to die tonight. A sweet woman who told fortunes and never bothered anyone was dead while really bad people were still out roaming the streets. I had seen a lot of killings and deaths on the job over the past few years but it always gets me when an innocent person checks out way before it seems like they should. Why her and why now?

I finished up my shift and headed home to try and get some rest after the surreal events of the evening but it was useless. I couldn't shake the image from my mind of the woman lying under the slide looking so calm and peaceful. Had she felt pain? Did she know death was coming for her? Why was she out alone on such a dark and rainy night? I still had a million questions going thorough my head. I don't know why I couldn't get my mind off of the deceased fortune teller but something about her death was really nagging at me and I couldn't shake this feeling that was almost anger mixed with a great deal of remorse and sorrow.

The next morning I knew what I had to do. I couldn't stay in this town anymore. These past few years had been really tough. The visit from my mom made me miss home and realize just how much time had gone by. The days seemed to draw on endlessly and it was just the same cycle of similar happenings over and over again. I had experienced more than my fair share and after having served for what seemed like decades on this shitty police force, I was ready to call it quits. This town had turned me into someone I didn't even know anymore. I had become a man who was either angry or lonely all the time and who drank more than I ever used to. This wasn't me and I didn't think I could handle this new me for much longer.

Over the next few weeks after the death of Madame Maureen I got the things I needed to in order so that I could head back to the town I used to call home. Before I left, my friends and colleuges told me I wouldn't last in such a rough city and that I would be running back in no time. In a way I guess they were right, after almost ten years I was heading back, but this city I lived in now was no place to call home. After this long I still hardly knew anyone except the people I worked with and my life was centered around work. It was like I hadn't actually been living these past few years, just watching my life go by. For some reason Madame Maureen's death snapped be back into things and made me remember that you never know when life could be over for you and this was certainly not the life I wanted to end with.

I didn't know if things would be any better back home but at least it would be the start of something new. I can't say I was really going to miss this run down town. I had tried to come here and help "save it" in a way but I had had enough. I don't even really know if I'll continue on being a police officer anymore. Maybe I just won't work out in the field, I've definitely had plenty of action since I moved here. So I packed up my apartment, which was fortuneatly still somewhat clean from the visit with my mother, and headed for the train station. I was going back to my old life with way more baggage than I had left with and optimism for the future. I didn't know what was going to happen next but I knew that I needed a change now more than ever and hopefully I would be able to get my life started up again.

Life since the events of last week had been pretty quiet.  We finally caught the inmate that had escaped and life in the city was almost normal for a change.  Then I got a phone call that kind of through me off a bit.  Earlier that day I had gotten a call from my mom.  She was calling to tell me that she would be out to visit from Ohio in the next few days to see how I was doing with life as a cop in the city.  It was a Sunday morning and I woke up and took a good look at my pathetic apartment.  There were big brown spots on the ceiling that seemed to grow larger and more amoeba shaped everyday.  The ceiling seemed to even be sagging in some places.  There was a pile of laundry in the closet at least two feet high and just as much trash outside the trashcan as there was inside of it.  When I walked in to the kitchen and turned on the light at least half a dozen roaches scattered.  The dirty dish situation was the worst of all.  Just about every dish I owned was sitting in the sink probably starting to mold.  This was a bit out of hand even for me.  I gave the apartment a pretty decent cleaning and I was able to once again see the floor that had been buried underneath the rubble for a good month now.

After that I headed over to the grocery store and picked up some food to make actual meals with.  The food would probably never get used but it would please my mother to think that I was eating somewhat healthy, home cooked meals.  After picking up a few things at the store I headed over to Mo' Liquor and picked up something a little nicer than the cheap shit I'm used to drinking. After all that I headed home and prepared for her visit.  She arrived a few days later and seeing her brought back a wave of memories.  It had been at least two years since I'd last seen her and those two years seemed to have aged her drastically.  This made me feel old and sad that I hadn't spent a little more time at home.  Anyways the visit went as you might expect, nothing exciting.  She wasn't extremely pleased with the area or with my tiny apartment but she respected the work I did and was happy I was finally making it on my own.  We reminisced about my childhood and she told me about how the rest of the family back home was.  She only stayed a night and I dropped her off at the airport the next morning.  It was a short visit but nice to see a familiar face and think about how far I'd come since living in Ohio.  For once in a long time I felt actually happy and things were going okay these days.  Hopefully this trend would continue but I had a a feeling that something else may have been in store for me.

A Tuesday to top all Tuesdays I swear to God. First a visit from Darcy (not my favorite character in the world) looking for a run down of the weeks events and a pay check. We talked a little about our recent capture of one of this cities biggest drug lords but if you can believe it, that's not even the highlight of my week. I'm sitting in my office looking over some paper work on a new case when I get a call that there's been some sort of drive-by shooting. I head down to the scene to find no other than Donald Fish sitting on the ground surrounded by a crowd of people clutching his leg which appeared to be spouting blood. Since Fish was clearly not involved it would seem that the bullet may not have even been intended for him. The bullet had apparently come from a passing car so who knows who the shot was meant for or if it was even meant to be fired at all. After promising Fish I'd do all I could to figure out who was responsible for the hole in his calf I went on to continue this ridiculous day.
After dealing with the shooting incident I get another pleasant surprise radioed into me on my way back to the station. Back-up was requested at the Jaguar where some big shot rapper was apparently making quite the scene. I headed down there and just as I pulled up three cops were dragging the rapper handcuffed, out of the club. Some of the dancers frantically stood outside watching and ridiculing the man as he was dragged out. I spoke with Bite-Sized and it sounded like the man had gotten a little to fresh with one of the dancers and had apparently crossed whatever thin line existed between the dancers and the patrons at the Jaguar. On top of that, after thoroughly searching the rapper we found a gun which he did not have a license to be carrying, as well as enough weed to get pretty much the entire town high. Just what this city needs, a high profile arrest outside of a dingy strip club but I bet business for that nasty little club will be better than ever.
I head back to the station and am once again stopped by a giant crowd forming around the bank. I assumed the crowd had gathered for the weekly food market but a closer look revealed no such luck. There was a man standing on top of the three story bank waving his arms around and proclaiming that he was Jesus. How he got up there I have no idea but this was really just the cherry on top of an already wonderful day. The crowd that had gathered found this scene quite amusing while I was at a loss as to what to do with the man preaching to the crowd as if he were their savior. Fortunately after finishing his sermon he was coerced down by some sort of phsycotherapist that was called in who then assured me that he would be taken back to the psyche ward he had just been released from. After reassuring the crowd that the show was over and that they needed to break it up and clear out I finally made it back to the station. When I got there I received the worst news of the day. Apparently one of the inmates being held in our police station had escaped and was loose in the neighborhood and there wasn't much luck yet with hunting him down. Just perfect. So after hitting the streets for a few more hours to try and hunt down this pain in my ass, I turned it over to the night shift and headed back to Jupiter Apartments. On the way there I saw Loretta Lynn McMurphy headed into the pub. I only noticed because Loretta isn't really a woman who gets out much and there are whispers around town that the only person she talks to is her dog. I gave her a nod despite her sort of glazed over look and continued heading towards my apartment. Once there I fell immediately into probably the deepest sleep of my life after one of the undoubtedly longest days of my life.

It was mid-morning and already the day had taken on an eventful start. The fire alarm in a nearby building had gone off and while it seemed like the firefighters should be able to handle it, they were calling in some of the police force just in case. So, sirens blaring I headed over to the building to see what all the fuss was about. Once I reached the building the deafening firetruck sirens drowned out pretty much everything and thinking became almost impossible. As I took in the noisy scene I realized that today was surprisingly a pretty nice day weather wise. It was still cold but the sun was shining and people actually seemed to be out on the streets walking around. Had the actual city itself not been so shitty looking and had there not been sirens blaring so unbearably loudly, someone driving through might have mistaken this for a normal neighborhood. I snapped back into reality when I realized the sirens had stopped and an angry looking fire fighter was yelling something about a false alarm and how we should move out. False alarm. Let me guess, some little shit kid decided it might be funny to drag my ass out here for no reason and waste every one's time. What a racket. After the excitement died down I headed back to the station to find out what else was in store for me today.
On the way back to the station I drove past Donald James riding around on his stupid little bike in the 30 degree weather. He was an odd character and in the past I had given him warnings on various occasions for disorderly conduct which was usually fueled by alcohol. Like I said, a strange guy but he seemed harmless enough. As we passed each other he sent a look my way that was anything but pleasant, though I can't say I'm not used to getting those kinds of looks. I finally reached the station and continued on with a normal day at work.

I was on duty at the intersection of Polaski and Main St. this morning. I hadn't bothered to shave or even shower. It had taken an exceptional amount of time to will myself out of bed this morning. Maybe it was exhaustion from yesterday's work. Maybe it was something else, something deeper. Recently I've been having this feeling that it's just not worth it. My life is centered around people who seem to have this relentless hate for everyone else. For the world. It scares me to think that it may be rubbing off on me.

As I scanned the street for any kind of trouble a noise caught my attention. I followed it to the very back of the Polaski St. Diner. I scanned the alley, dark and cold even in the early hours of the morning. Eventually it caught my eye, there was a man digging through the dumpster further down the alley. My immediate instinct was to call out to him, give him some sort of citation, look up his records, ultimately finding some sort of incrimination I was supposed to impose upon him, but something stopped me. That same feeling that had kept me from getting out of bed began to bounce around in my mind. I wanted it gone, I hated it.

I looked closely at the man with his worn out clothes and dirty hair. His sad eyes searching for something, anything in the dark wet dumpster. I watched the man for a few more long moments and then turned to leave the alley way.

My head stopped pounding as I left the homeless man at peace.

Another cold night. What a surprise, I thought as I stepped out onto Rouse Blvd. and started walking toward my sad excuse of an apartment. I pasted Mo Liquor and contemplated going in to buy yet another bottle of vodka to take the edge of an extremely long day at work. I decided to keep on walking after peaking inside and seeing the ten person long line. Another surprise, a long line at the liquor store. I can only imagine what the line at the Jaguar is like tonight. Work today had been worse than it normally was. I knew when I moved to this city a few years ago that this job would be extremely rough especially in this kind of neighborhood but this was ridiculous. How many drug dealers and robbery cases could there really be in one city? Apparently a lot because today alone I had arrested about four people including chasing one down on foot for at least ten blocks. That was my job, no better yet, that was my life. Outside of working ten or eleven hours a day there wasn't much else. I finally reached the front door of Jupiter Apartments and headed up to the tenth floor. It was a late night on a week day so fortunately the hall was empty. I'm not much for small talk with the neighbors. In fact I've never even met a few of them but that suits me just fine. I stepped into my tiny hallway and headed for the bedroom. It had been a long day and I was looking forward to catching a few hours of sleep before I needed to be up again to start this all over tomorrow. This isn't exactly the life I'd pictured when I'd signed up to be a cop when I was younger. I was certainly getting plenty of action out on the field but I thought one day my hard work would be paying off and so far I had nothing but a day full of long hours. Oh well, maybe one day it will all change but I wasn't holding my breath. I got ready for bed and instantly fell asleep to nightmares of the people I had recently put behind bars coming after me and getting what they felt was much deserved pay back.